MURRAY FINKEL — Lyricist, late 30’s to early 40’s. Sweet, eager to please, somewhat neurotic, unnecessarily optimistic – and not terribly lucky in love (so far). He’s a good writer, when all is said and done, but has a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
HOWARD KATZ — Murray’s long-term, long-suffering composer, early-40’s. Howard is a cynic and a pessimist. Depressing, but funny in his depression. Nothing is ever enough for him… or else it’s too much. In a sense, Howard is the moral compass of the piece. Howard is totally grounded in reality. With all his faults and dark humor, Howard’s basic goodness and decency shine through. Thus he is able to inspire the love of two totally different women – one of whom is willing to go to the ends of the earth for him (and does, literally, in Act II).
SHIRLEY DOOLEY — actress; mid 30’s. Came here from Sweet Springs, Ohio, to follow her dream. Not the brightest crayon in the pack. Beautiful in a wholesome, hayseed kind of way (think: early Doris Day). Loyal and unflappable, and is willing to wait around for Howard if it takes forever...which it just might.
SERGEI SCHMEARNOV — a KGB agent. Dark, imposing, taciturn, sneaky. You get the feeling he’s smoldering underneath, and capable of anything to further his cause…or save his ass. He’s handsome, dashing, sexy, and just this side of S & M. If you heard he walked around with handcuffs in his back pocket, you wouldn’t be surprised. If you heard he kept them by the side of his bed...you wouldn’t be surprised by that, either.
YENGENYI ONANOV — Director of the Ministry of Musical Persuasion. Kind, generous of spirit, somewhat innocent of the politics around him, and truly devoted to musical theater.
HILDRET HEINZ — East German theater director; early 50s; blonde, severe. Like her mentor, Bertolt Brecht, she has replaced the ‘d’ at the end of her first name with a ‘t’ to make it sound more percussive and martial. But unlike her idol, Greta Garbo, she rarely “vants to be alone.” A devout nymphomaniac.
MASHA PETROVNA HAYLUKMIKOVA — a chorus girl; early 20s. Wide-eyed and innocent at first. But as we soon discover, she’s a diva in ingénue’s clothing. (Running joke with MASHA’s name: as she becomes on increasingly familiar terms with MURRAY, she allows him to call her ever-more-intimate nicknames: “Please, call me Masha...call me Mashenka . . . Mashunya . . . Mashunechka...” and so on.)
ENSEMBLE of men and women who play various roles (musical theater performers, chambermaids, producer, secretary, KGB personnel, border guards, etc.)
Orchestra: